November 21, 2008
December 3, 2008
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We have an 11:50 flight this morning, but considering that it’s an hour drive from Darren’s brother’s house to the airport, there is no sleeping-in for the Repo Men.  Lance is kind enough to drive us to the airport, and we get there in record time, say our good-byes, and enter the airport en route to our final stop on the Repo Road Tour: Orlando. 

It’s after 11.  We will be cutting it close – once we get our tickets and go through airport security – but we’re not worried; thus far, our airport rendezvous have all gone down with hardly a snag.  Today, however, we break this pattern.

Toting our luggage, Darren and I stroll up to the airline’s kiosk.  We swipe our credit cards, type in a few bits of pertinent info, and then wait to retrieve our boarding passes – just as we have every day this week – but today, today the kiosk spits out nary a ticket.  In fact, the machine doesn’t recognize our flight confirmations, our names, nothing. 

We look over our shoulders at the massive line that we’ll have to wait in to actually speak to an airline representative, then our watches, then each other…oh, shit! 

I get in the line while Darren scurries off to try and flag down a roaming Delta employee.  He does, and this person takes him to a terminal, types in Darren’s info, but again, nothing.  No record of us.  The man tells Darren that we have no choice but to wait in the line.

We inch forward through the line, 2 very late snails.  Any hope of catching our flight has left the building.  Darren and I discuss renting a car and driving from Atlanta to Orlando.  We’re told it’s about a 5-hour drive without traffic.  If there is not another direct flight within the next hour or so, a rental car-ing we will be.

We get to the front of the line.  The lady behind the counter is very friendly.  She types in our info and informs us that our flight time was actually at 10:50 this morning, not 11:50.  This is why our confirmation # wasn’t registering.  We look down at our printed itinerary: it says 11:50.  That’s what we get for booking flights and transcribing itineraries last minute, and under the influence of Zydrate!

Actually, my [hench]gal, Alisa Burket, was kind enough to book all of our RT flights, and had done so with crystalline perfection…until now.  She feels really bad about the transposition error, but I assure her that had Darren or I been the ones booking everything, that there would have been a lot more than 1 mistake…not to mention the money we saved because of the great deals that Alisa found—thank you!  In the end, everything works out: we catch a direct flight the following hour for only $50 more and are set to land in Orlando a little after 2:00.

The plane ride provides some light comedy mixed with annoyance: one of our flight attendants seems to fancy himself a comedian.  As such, he does “routines” into the plane’s intercom, while simultaneously attempting to pick up on women.  He is neither funny nor charming, but that doesn’t stop him.

A slight reprieve appears in the form of an Elvis impersonator who is seated on the plane with us en route to a show that he’s doing in Orlando.

The flight attendant/comic wannabe introduces “The King” and lets him sing a few bars of “Are You Lonesome Tonight” into the intercom.  It’s funny at first, but then Elvis proceeds to ruthlessly plug his performance…not once, not twice, but 3 times, followed by standing at the door and handing flyers to everyone as they exit the plane.

Flyer in hand, we exit the aircraft and see sunlight, actual sunlight – the first of our stops that isn’t overcast.  Darren’s longtime friend, and actor in both SAW III and REPO!, J Larose, meets us at the airport.  J lives in Orlando with his wife and kids.  We’ll be staying with them tonight.

J has a lovely home with a small furball of a dog named Shakespeare.  He makes off with one of Darren’s socks as we attempt to catch a few Z’s in J’s guestroom.  Before falling asleep however, Darren checks his email and alerts me to the fact that a fan of ours has sent him a picture of her recent REPO! tattoo: my mug as GraveRobber etched into the flesh on the back of her neck.  I am at once shocked, scared, and completely flattered by the gesture.  Emotionally confused, I fall asleep.

It’s 7:30pm.  We have 2 interviews before the screening tonight, so we make our way down to the Enzian theatre early.  Like clockwork, a line of REPO! fans are already there, lined up.  We park, and as we walk through the lot towards the theatre, we pass a couple windshields painted with REPO! slogans.  We also pass a dude in his car applying faux scar makeup to his cheek.  Mid application, he catches Darren and I in the passenger side mirror and screams out to us.  The night has begun!

As Darren and I enter the theatre, we meet members of REPO!’s Orlando Army, KrisB and Batman.  We also meet a fan dressed as GraveRobber, then another dressed as Shilo, then another dressed as Amber Sweet.  This Amber is the first to don the wardrobe that on set was referred to as “The Courtney Love look”, and she pulls it off smashingly.  Also in attendance is a sea of REPO! t-shirts – many are custom-made.

Our interviews – 1 with Bloody-Disgusting’s Tim Anderson and David Harley, the other with Movement Magazine’s Max Michaels – both go really well, and by the time we are completed, the line outside has tripled.  It’s 9:30pm.  The Enzian opens its doors, and people file into their dinner-theatre like seats.

As the movie plays, Darren and I grab a beer and share a pizza at the Eden bar, just outside.   While eating, we chat with the theatre’s manager who complains to us that REPO! has been a thorn in his side this last month.  It turns out that tonight’s show sold-out almost immediately, and that he has been harassed with calls from unhappy REPO!  fans trying to get tickets ever since.

We reenter the theatre, conduct our q & a, then migrate outside to the patio where we sign autographs and mingle with fans well into the morning.   The girl dressed as GraveRobber gives me her Z-gun as a keepsake.  Another fan shares with me that she was raised by a single father, whom she has recently been rebelling against.  As such, the relationship between Shilo and Nathan in our film moved her in a very personal way.  I give her a big hug and she cries into my sweater.   I start to get teary eyed myself, but then contemplate how a youtube video of me peeing in Chicago, followed by one of me crying in Orlando, would make for a very disturbing double-feature….so I suck it up.

I’m also too excited to cry: Darren and I have agreed to make Repo Road Tour 2 a reality!